Allerliefste Pieter — Dearest Pieter from Rechterfeld, Germany

 Those years were not easy for us, Campbell Soup did not allow me to work for ANY mushroom company within the USA. They did not want to educate their competitors.

SO, I flew solo to Germany for a 2–week training at a big and modern mushroom farm, run by one of Pieter's former students. 

First I stayed at a hotel and then I stayed at the manager's home, the former student Jan Koopmans and his lovely wife Henriette.

One booboo I've made when friends were seated around our dinner table and they asked where I slept in Germany. Spontaneously I replied: Oh, I slept with the manager...! A lot of laughter of course as it ought to be I slept at the manager...

Rechterfeld is in the north of Germany in the Municipality of Visbek, close to Bremen.

Had to drive some 2.5 hours from my Parents' via Interstate.

Mariet if you are hungry, in the pan are still 'Nudeln'. Warm up nicely. Yogurt, fruit etc. refrigerator | fruit basket. In other words, search and take what you feel like. Greetings Henriette

Sadly this sweet lady is no longer with us as she succumbed to cancer...

Fond memories!

Rechterfeld, 16 May 1988

Dearest Pieter,

It's 2:45 p.m. and I'm home since 2:05 p.m. Home alone. Upstairs I changed clothes, put on the Ghurka shorts that I also traveled in yesterday (2.5 hours and no faster than 145 km/h). There was a sweet note ready for me, I'll stop it by then you'll know right away how I have it here. 

Yesterday I went to bed at twelve o'clock... We didn't eat here until around ten o'clock. There were 3 guys from the compost/tunnels with a beer around 17:00h. Arrived here, unannounced. Jan was digging in old clothes and Henriette was disturbed while sunbathing. 

They came to talk annoyingly about "raise", the 1st time they ever dared to come to Jan's house, he keeps his distance. So I could sit on the terrace at 6:45 pm. At 8:15 pm Böging (for me) and a little later Hermes the harvest master arrived. Böging was and is on holiday, I don't know how long. 

This morning at 5:15 am I got up and made coffee (Henriette had put it in last night) and ate a jam sandwich and a "cap" with cheese and slice against it. Delicious German bread, as well as the yogurt that's in front of me right now! So I do survive!! Do you want to call Pete Tyre that his desired albums would cost $50 instead of $15 if available!! I called Wim de Boer on Sunday and so I didn't arrange anything... Mother gave me 85 guilders for our birthdays!! She was happy with the bouquet, she would take it with her to the needlework today, so they could learn from it.

Dad and Mom were very sweet. We talked a lot and visited the fields with Dad before leaving... They also thought I was tanned. Martin was at home and he had already finished the yard tiller at Thé's. Thé was so delighted with it. That was sweet too. He didn't want anything for it because you had helped him with the lens... But you only had to tell Thé what Martin would like, you know that better than I do (in the field of photography, for example). So, my Noodles are almost done... Jan was happy with his mug and Henriette with the pewter Volendam set from Daalderop. They asked if you were coming too, but I said it wasn't possible this time. Next time? They had a key made for me.

This morning I worked well deliberately. That computer is a great help. Explain this later. 

The weather is beautiful! 

Yesterday Gert also came, we drank coffee together + cake. Gert walked along to carry the stuff into the car! She wanted to ask me something. When I would be back home to decide together with all the brothers and sisters if and what we do for next 40th wedding anniversary on February 25, 1989. If they have a wedding anniversary. I have arranged for Sunday evening. They wanted to do without Bets etc, but I'm still bringing my baby with me even if it's to lay you down somewhere nearby to rest. Gert was still so white, even after a day's work in the garden. 

So, now I have Noodles in my belly... After this letter I do the dishes and then I drive to Visbek to the post office. It was strong east wind here on Saturday, so if it is still there, this letter will arrive quickly by airmail! On the plane I sat next to a guy from Epe near Zwolle, a computer man. A lot on the road, his wife also comes along every now and then. He asked me how old I was, reminded him of his sister he said. Like two drops of water, even the way of talking and the "loud shrill voice". Yes he said, that's because my sister is married to an older man (57 yrs and she's 33 yrs) who doesn't hear very well on one side anymore... I said, my husband is also a little older and doesn't hear so well on the "other" side either. Coincidence? He was already an adult at 14 years old, he said. His father (an alcoholic who came home once every two years) was then and still is missing... He had attended an International School, was very good at English and had also lived in Africa. 

We chatted a lot until after dinner and he sweetly tucked in (his sister...) with my blanket. I slept well until 7:30 am. "Brother" already had an orange juice ready for me on his tray table... Not disturbed me but therefore had asked for something. He was also very attentive to the man next to him who had a hearing aid. He asked for another "real" pair of Business Class headphones. No, said the stewardess, they don't fit... He politely insisted and said why. Received it and then also thanked nicely. This way you still meet nice people every now and then. The carrying bag of the clock broke just as I was stalling it at the top... It just didn't fall on a passenger!! I said "sorry". He said I'm still alive. Yes, because it went past his head... Then a couple of men helped me stow. The man next to my "brother" was a sexologist, also internal medicine, who went to Tanzania for 2 weeks as an American authority on AIDS.  

Also interesting conversations, although I couldn't follow everything (without a hearing aid...)! At Schiphol Airport I wore that rotten clock in front of my belly, that red Bi-lo bag gave off on the sweatshirt but that has already been washed out. Clock is also gone though would be getting healthy again. It was on the card that she had already been there 2 times. Will you please bring the key? Then we leave it in Horst until September. Until she runs well!

Saturday evening I walked to church with Thé. Dora had to look after Marion again... Mom said she does that because otherwise Marion calls a lot... What confidence! I saw Marion only for a short time, she had to go to a competition. She generously gave me hugs! She hadn't picked up the framed cat yet, Dora had forgotten to tell her! She just never listens, it turns out. The new Dean was visiting Thé after the 8:30 PM mass. He asked me all kinds of questions about the USA and the church. I caught up with that "brat" from Kerkrade. He hoped to meet me again, had to look him up at the presbytery... Will have to show up sometime, wearing my Ghurka! 

Tonight I'll be on time under the down duvet! Tomorrow afternoon Henriette and I have been invited by one of those boys to eat ice cream. They asked "Fräulein"(Miss) if I was going to go water biking with them... So I didn't look old and tired after all in my Ghurka and Uncle Bo's sweater...

Dad read something from his USA diary, a whole book. Now I know that I favor my Dad in that regard! Good memory and very much in detail and also feelings put on paper. Better than in that nice letter we received... So in hindsight, it was positive.

He means it from the Mississippi!! He would love to go back. And now the cauliflower on that parcel of land (you know) has also failed with the drought (it is blowing from the wind now) because he can't sprinkle there...

There were many (40) loaves of bread in the church and I asked Thé if Derix could advertise in the church... Didn't get an answer, looked at me punishingly! I don't care anyway... Christ is quite fond of humor, and besides, Thé doesn't know that a person doesn't live by bread alone... He later confessed to the Dean that he sometimes felt more Calvinistic than Roman Catholic. 

In Berkele Heem at the reception I had a long talk with Tiny van Wegberg Sanders (from the Afhang) who lives in the front of the Schoolstraat. She was quite nice and asked where I slept. At my parents', I said. That was a good conversation for any clarification! People do turn around. There had also been a fire at the C.C.O. Tunnels or something + classroom... Then the "Doekoen" has made Dublin and the C.C.O. both "hot"... 

So, now it's 3:45 p.m. My writing lump hurts. Do you think of my diary? Hopefully everything arrives with UPS, white rayon blouse, black and mocha t-shirt and silk dressing gown to wear in Italy...

I have a 910 kg Audi 80. You remember, the one with the stoma... A whole new ass is on it. The trunk was hard to close, so I'll stay away from that! Mother gave me a pack of coffee and tea! She hadn't written anything because I came. Poor you!! You have a mean Mother. Now I'll make it up to you. Lots of love and goodbye. Time flies. Maaike xxx

Brief Geschreven in Hotel Napoleon, Ohio—Letter written at Hotel Napoleon, Ohio

Op Dinsdag 23 februari begonnen...

February 23, 1988

My dearest Mariet,

What do you do when you're sitting in a hotel room in Napoleon, Ohio and there's still a request from your wifey to put some thoughts on paper? My idea was always that this was more or less superfluous; that our relationship was so proof that you already knew everything about me. You know girl, men just think much more rationally and you think more with your feelings. 

I'm never quite sure how long I've known you. Did I get to know you when I first saw you at the C.C.O. with your pigtails? 

Same self made dress but no pigtails here... But that is how I applied for the job at C.C.O.

~

Did I get to know you when you worked at the C.C.O.? I don't think so, at least that wasn't the Mariet I know now and see almost every day in front of me. For me, the real Mariet started to live when Dean Akkermans was buried (he died on Saturday, March 22, 1980). His funeral was on Wednesday, March 26 of 1980.

Although we didn't "have" anything (as it is called) in that period, there was no going back from that day on. Only you know how we both struggled to suppress our true love for each other; we now know that I wouldn't have been able to do that, even if I had immigrated to the Fiji Islands. It was hard to detach ourselves from everything we had so many years ago. Now, in retrospect, it seems as if that past life had barely existed, or there is a kind of frosted glass in–between, making everything seem a bit blurry and far– away. Still, I thought I loved Thea and Liz a lot at the time, I just didn't know what real love is at the time; I only learned that from you later. 

Because I didn't know it myself, I can hardly really blame the other person, something you haven't learned or experienced is difficult to put into practice. In any case, it seems as if you have always been there or I have known you all your life. I also find it typical that the relatively large age difference appears to have practically no influence on the harmony in our lives, if at all. It may still come, but now we both feel practically the same age (or young?). I also think it's typical that you don't have to tell the real friends around you what the relationship between the two of you is really like; They seem to see that, at least that's what we're often assured. Is that the "body language" that others (at least some of them) understand very well? 

Actually, I don't think it matters that much what others see and think of us; We know how deep the feelings between us are and always have been. Some, especially in our family, seem to have some trouble believing or accepting that we really are that crazy with each other. I think that's partly because they rarely see us in our real "normal" situation, but always "visiting", with the added pressure that some people put on you. Perhaps there is even some jealousy at play at times. Anyway girl; they were and are the happiest years of my life, although we did feel the pressure on us in the first years. 

When we had the Green Card in our possession, we finally could buy back the home from Campbell Soup.

That was in 1985. 

After the Rotary lunch at 2:30 p.m., Pieter signed our mortgage deed for the house; fixed interest rate at 12.5% over 15 years. 

Paying alimony and also for the Royal Academy for Pieter's adopted daughter who studied abroad, so no tax benefits, was a tough thing to do but we managed for five years for her study and lifelong support for his ex.

~

If you can both be very happy even in such a situation, that means something. We have both gotten to know each other to the bottom of both of our souls, through many hours of "pillow talk" and conversations during long car rides, walks etc. We know everything about each other and as you often say; If one of us were to suddenly disappear, we have nothing to reproach ourselves for; we know everything, everything said. What I also appreciate about you is the fact that you have rarely, if ever, complained that you were alone a lot or far from home or things like that. You know how to help yourself and that gives me the confidence that you can also help yourself in the future, if I am no longer there. A lot of people in Dublin, but also in many other countries, think of Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Kashmir etc., love you. I am proud that you have gathered so much love from true friends around you; you do make it easy for them to love you, you're just a sweet little girl with a big warm heart.

Not that you are blind to all the tricks that people around you play, or naïve, no you still try to finally see the positive in it. They must have the patience to get to know you. What I've also always really appreciated about you, girl, is that you've never tried to put Thea, or anyone in our family, down, on the contrary, you'll still stand up for them if you feel that they wouldn't be treated fairly. It's a pity that Liz in particular disappoints us so much, but maybe one day she will see that. In any case, I also know that you are not once in the church (any church) without praying for the restoration (or continuation) of the good relations between everyone. I know you are deeply religious, as we both know what God and religion mean. It is a pity that "the church", as a bureaucratic institution, makes it so difficult for us, although it doesn't matter much anymore; we know what it's worth.

Honey, I've told you a thousand times; I love you dearly and I know you love me too. I once asked you if you wanted to follow me, anywhere. You did, and perhaps, or possibly I must ask you again. Actually, I don't even have to ask. I know...!

I hope that we will be able to live together for a long time. We both find life very worthwhile and I even have the impression that we are going to attach more and more value to the quality of life, while other things are losing some of their importance that may have seemed more important in the past. Sweetheart, life with you was so good that I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I will try, for as long as it is in my power, to be good to you, as you were and are to me. My little girl!! It is difficult to capture such a rich life in a few words in such a short space of time. One day we'll write a book together...! Your Pieter 

February 25, 1988

Already in April of 1980 Pieter went for Campbell's to Napoleon, Ohio.

From my Pinterest Moral Character board