Op Dinsdag 23 februari begonnen...
February 23, 1988
My dearest Mariet,
What do you do when you're sitting in a hotel room in Napoleon, Ohio and there's still a request from your wifey to put some thoughts on paper? My idea was always that this was more or less superfluous; that our relationship was so proof that you already knew everything about me. You know girl, men just think much more rationally and you think more with your feelings.
I'm never quite sure how long I've known you. Did I get to know you when I first saw you at the C.C.O. with your pigtails?
Same self made dress but no pigtails here... But that is how I applied for the job at C.C.O.
~Did I get to know you when you worked at the C.C.O.? I don't think so, at least that wasn't the Mariet I know now and see almost every day in front of me. For me, the real Mariet started to live when Dean Akkermans was buried (he died on Saturday, March 22, 1980). His funeral was on Wednesday, March 26 of 1980.
Although we didn't "have" anything (as it is called) in that period, there was no going back from that day on. Only you know how we both struggled to suppress our true love for each other; we now know that I wouldn't have been able to do that, even if I had immigrated to the Fiji Islands. It was hard to detach ourselves from everything we had so many years ago. Now, in retrospect, it seems as if that past life had barely existed, or there is a kind of frosted glass in–between, making everything seem a bit blurry and far– away. Still, I thought I loved Thea and Liz a lot at the time, I just didn't know what real love is at the time; I only learned that from you later.
Because I didn't know it myself, I can hardly really blame the other person, something you haven't learned or experienced is difficult to put into practice. In any case, it seems as if you have always been there or I have known you all your life. I also find it typical that the relatively large age difference appears to have practically no influence on the harmony in our lives, if at all. It may still come, but now we both feel practically the same age (or young?). I also think it's typical that you don't have to tell the real friends around you what the relationship between the two of you is really like; They seem to see that, at least that's what we're often assured. Is that the "body language" that others (at least some of them) understand very well?
Actually, I don't think it matters that much what others see and think of us; We know how deep the feelings between us are and always have been. Some, especially in our family, seem to have some trouble believing or accepting that we really are that crazy with each other. I think that's partly because they rarely see us in our real "normal" situation, but always "visiting", with the added pressure that some people put on you. Perhaps there is even some jealousy at play at times. Anyway girl; they were and are the happiest years of my life, although we did feel the pressure on us in the first years.
That was in 1985.
After the Rotary lunch at 2:30 p.m., Pieter signed our mortgage deed for the house; fixed interest rate at 12.5% over 15 years.
Paying alimony and also for the Royal Academy for Pieter's adopted daughter who studied abroad, so no tax benefits, was a tough thing to do but we managed for five years for her study and lifelong support for his ex.
~
If you can both be very happy even in such a situation, that means something. We have both gotten to know each other to the bottom of both of our souls, through many hours of "pillow talk" and conversations during long car rides, walks etc. We know everything about each other and as you often say; If one of us were to suddenly disappear, we have nothing to reproach ourselves for; we know everything, everything said. What I also appreciate about you is the fact that you have rarely, if ever, complained that you were alone a lot or far from home or things like that. You know how to help yourself and that gives me the confidence that you can also help yourself in the future, if I am no longer there. A lot of people in Dublin, but also in many other countries, think of Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Kashmir etc., love you. I am proud that you have gathered so much love from true friends around you; you do make it easy for them to love you, you're just a sweet little girl with a big warm heart.
Not that you are blind to all the tricks that people around you play, or naïve, no you still try to finally see the positive in it. They must have the patience to get to know you. What I've also always really appreciated about you, girl, is that you've never tried to put Thea, or anyone in our family, down, on the contrary, you'll still stand up for them if you feel that they wouldn't be treated fairly. It's a pity that Liz in particular disappoints us so much, but maybe one day she will see that. In any case, I also know that you are not once in the church (any church) without praying for the restoration (or continuation) of the good relations between everyone. I know you are deeply religious, as we both know what God and religion mean. It is a pity that "the church", as a bureaucratic institution, makes it so difficult for us, although it doesn't matter much anymore; we know what it's worth.
Honey, I've told you a thousand times; I love you dearly and I know you love me too. I once asked you if you wanted to follow me, anywhere. You did, and perhaps, or possibly I must ask you again. Actually, I don't even have to ask. I know...!
I hope that we will be able to live together for a long time. We both find life very worthwhile and I even have the impression that we are going to attach more and more value to the quality of life, while other things are losing some of their importance that may have seemed more important in the past. Sweetheart, life with you was so good that I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I will try, for as long as it is in my power, to be good to you, as you were and are to me. My little girl!! It is difficult to capture such a rich life in a few words in such a short space of time. One day we'll write a book together...! Your Pieter
February 25, 1988
Already in April of 1980 Pieter went for Campbell's to Napoleon, Ohio.
From my Pinterest Moral Character board
