April 1, 2024
Dearest Pieter,
During Easter Mass, tears came to me when I saw you sitting there—how much longer? You get so out of breath from climbing stairs. It's frightening to think that you're slipping away like that. My Pieter, my rock and great help for the past year after accident.
Because of the enormous pain, I was certainly not the nicest conversation partner! My humor appeared to have dried up and the pain was unbearable. You felt powerless... But you kept me alive by feeding me what you prepared.
Suddenly, the roles reversed! It hurts so much to see your elderly sweetheart struggling and I couldn't change it. Praying, a lot of praying for strength and to be able to spend some more time together. Cycling together if I can still manage that... At least I want to take care of the laundry again. You're already doing too much outside! In bed you breath very difficult—frightening.
Both of us are still too often exhausted. Reading makes me calmer, but the pressure of many things causes stress. Glad we got the trust almost complete! Before it is too late, I want to tell you that I still love you dearly and that I am proud of you. I have emphasized that pride often enough in my blog! A rare great love and it hurts to have ended up in the rag basket like that. Neither of us wanted this! Someday we will be together again without physical discomfort—our souls. It's going to be hard to ever having to live without you...
I will fight for our cats, but I want to be with you again as soon as possible!
Your eternally loving L.L.
